Lord, thank you for allowing me the blessing of watching you work in and through adoptive parents.  Thank you for enriching our lives with the incredible friendship of each of our clients, thank you for the incredible agencies that you have allowed us to work with!  Thank you, Lord, for the many blessings you have bestowed upon Faithful Adoption Consultants…we are so thankful! I pray that 2012 is bigger and better than 2011, and I know 2011 was a GREAT year.  I pray that you, Lord, would use our clients to glorify your name, that you would work through our families to reach BM’s all over the US!  Thank you, Lord, for each and every blessing!

AMEN!

Interview on Transracial Adoption and the Gospel

Occasionally someone sends me an e-mail asking if I know of any resources that address transracial or transethnic adoption from a biblical perspective. Unfortunately, most of these e-mails come from people who are facing opposition to transethnic adoption from within the evangelical community. They most often want to know how the gospel addresses this important issue. So I thought I would post an interview I did with Thabiti Anyabwile last September. In it he addresses the issue of race and the gospel, particularly as it relates to the practice of transethnic adoption.

Thabiti is the pastor of First Baptist Church of Grand Cayman and most recently the author of the following books: What Is a Healthy Church Member?, The Decline of African American Theology: From Biblical Faith to Cultural Captivity, and The Faithful Preacher: Recapturing the Vision of Three Pioneering African-American Pastors. He served previously as an elder/assistant pastor at Capitol Hill Baptist Church (Washington, DC) and as an elder at Church on the Rock (Raleigh, NC). He also blogs at Pure Church.

1. Tell us a little about First Baptist Church of Grand Cayman.

This year FBC is celebrating its 30th anniversary. The church began in 1977 with 21 people from one of the ‘sister islands’ (Cayman Brac) meeting in a local living room. Today, there are people from about 25 nations who call FBC their spiritual home. It’s easily the most ethnically diverse church I’ve ever served. The people here love the Lord, His gospel, and His people. It’s a great joy to serve them.

2. As a pastor, what’s your primary burden for your people?

To see us all grow in holiness, to be shaped more and more in the image of Christ and therefore fit for heaven. We live on what most people consider an “island paradise.” Not surprisingly, then, the levels of worldly hedonism and materialism are quite high. But that’s really a tremendous gospel opportunity if the Lord grows us in Christ-likeness, disdain for this world, and commitment to living and sharing the gospel. If we can have more of heaven in us, even before we’re in heaven, the contrast between life in the kingdom and life in the world will be stark. I long to see us yearn for Christ and His kingdom.

3. You recently wrote an excellent and thought-provoking article entitled “Many Ethnicities, One Race.“ Why did you write it?

It was a privilege to be asked to contribute to the 9Marks eJournal issue on ethnicity and the church. Generally, I don’t like talking or writing a great deal about ethnicity and race; there are too many ways in which those conversations are unhelpful and unedifying. Nevertheless, the Lord has given us sufficient guidance for these issues in His word and I’m convinced we’ve not mined the Scripture enough. And that’s really problematic given how glaring a problem the racial history of the U.S. has been—the church not excepted. So, at the invitation of the brothers at 9Marks I tried to offer what I hope is a useful, biblical framework for thinking through these issues.

4. Some people, for any number of reasons, are uncomfortable with the idea of transracial adoption. Other people, because of their views on race, are outright opposed to the idea of transracial adoption; they believe that adoption across ethnic lines should not be practiced. How might the Bible speak to these concerns?

Well, I think it depends on the nature of the discomfort or opposition. If the discomfort or opposition is grounded in some assumption that “races” are unequal or that “races” should remain segregated in family and social relationships, I think the Bible rebukes and corrects that kind of thinking in several ways. First, it’s clear that there is only one “race” of man, all descended from our original parents Adam and Eve (Gen. 2; Acts 17:26). There is no biblical basis for discomfort or opposition based on racial attitudes. Second, the alienation that sometimes stirs opposition to transracial adoption is really a spiritual problem. It’s a product of the Fall of man into sin. The cure for that problem is saving faith in Jesus Christ, wherein man is first reconciled to God and then reconciled to other men. So, for Christians in particular, those who are adopted into the family of God through faith in Christ, opposition to transracial adoption is tantamount to denying the work of Christ on the cross.

But there may also be discomfort or opposition not based on racial attitudes but some prudential concerns. Some may wonder if they are sufficiently equipped to parent across culture and ethnicity. Others may worry about the tension or conflict they may experience. There we have to remember that we are not called to love only in the convenient places and situations. We’re called to a radical love, one that mirrors the love of God for broken sinners. And the end of such love is unspeakable joy. For the joy set before Him, Jesus Christ endured the inconvenient and uncomfortable agony of the cross to redeem a people who were hostile toward Him. Adoption across ethnic lines may be one of the best pictures of that radical Christ-like love we have available to us today. So, “prudential” concerns that awaken discomfort aren’t finally sufficient reason to refuse or oppose such adoptions.

5. More and more couples are considering adopting transracially. How would you counsel a couple that desires to adopt a child from another race (i.e. ethnicity)? How would you seek to educate them theologically? How should the gospel help shape their view of transracial adoption?

The first thing I would want to do is simply commend and encourage them. I’d want to commend this act of selflessness and love. And I’d want to encourage them to remember that God’s grace is sufficient for their every need. That’s true of parenting in general, and it’s true of the specific case of transracial adoption and parenting. So, first, be encouraged.

Second, I’d want to encourage them to jettison the idea of “race” as it has historically been defined. Drop it like the bad habit it is. Learn to read the Scripture for its accent on our common humanity. Hayes’ Biblical Theology of Race is very valuable in this regard. Think of the children, indeed all people, as essentially “same” rather than “other.”

But third, having acknowledged our common humanity, think and teach your children to think in terms of “the nations.” In other words, there’s a tremendous opportunity in multi-ethnic families to cultivate a deeper concern for missions and getting the gospel to all nations. Try to prevent conversations and cross-cultural education from terminating on man or your family; try to think of those conversations as opportunities for thinking great thoughts about God who wants to be known among all people. The Lord has purposed that His glory will be shown in the bowing of the nations to His name. Our reflection on ethnicity and culture is incomplete if it doesn’t have that goal in mind.

6. Many who will read this interview have already adopted transracially. They are often concerned that their transracially adopted children will struggle with a sense of identity since they do not have same-race parents or do not live in an ethnically diverse area. Would you address their concern?

Again, I’d want to remind them that the Lord’s grace is sufficient for their parenting and this concern. Lean into that grace; commit this issue to the Lord in prayer. He’ll direct your steps and give you wisdom in this area.

Second, it’s important to think of parenting as essentially an exercise in identity formation (spiritually first, and ethnically in light of those spiritual realities). So, give considerable time to helping your child think of her or himself as one made in the image of God. The dignity of their lives is derived primarily from this aspect of their identity. Whatever struggles they encounter in terms of social and ethnic identity, they should resolve them in light of this fundamental truth. Also, parents want to help their children ground their identity in Christ if the child is/becomes a Christian. They are being renewed in the knowledge of God, righteousness and holiness through their union with Christ. This is the most profound aspect of who they are and understanding this is critical for putting identity conflicts in their proper perspective. Having laid that theological basis then it’s time to think critically about ethnic culture, experiences, and ideas.

The mistake many will make—partly out of an overdeveloped sense of guilt, and partly out of a desire to help their children—is to rush to ethnic and cultural considerations. Based on my own experience running rites of passage programs aimed at fostering cultural identity and values, most children are really ill-equipped for this kind of exploration because they haven’t settled larger, more fundamental questions about existence, faith, and purpose. Parents want to lay that foundation first. Children will be healthier in the long run even if the struggle feels acute at some points. But for help with ethnic identity issues, don’t be afraid to enlist the help of others. Build cross-cultural friendships. Include cross-cultural experiences in the family’s entertainment options (books, movies, concerts, etc.). This may take some investment, but it’s not only good for the child but the parents as well.

(Retrieved from http://www.togetherforadoption.org/?p=247)

We are called to care for the orphans, don’t believe me, check out James 1:27, ”Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.”

See, told you!!  :0)

I believe caring for the orphans means more than just bringing a child into your home.  I believe that if you are not in a position to adopt right now, that maybe the Lord is telling you to financially support someone who is.  Every $1 helps in adoption.  There are many grants out there that will match donated funds dollar for dollar for adoptive families, what a blessing every small donation is.

Faithful Adoption Consultants has started a grant for our clients through LifeSong for Orphans.  We would love for you to make a tax deductible donation to LifeSong for FAC families.  If you would like information on how to do that, please email me at courtney@faithfuladoptionconsultants.com.  We have many families waiting to bring home their sweet babies, but FINANCES are standing in the way.  What a blessing to help a family with this financial barrier.

Courtney

My husband, Shawn, and I had 3 biological children, but had always desired to adopt, and after reading James 1:27, we knew it was something we had to do.  How better to take care of an orphan than to bring them into your family?  We anticipated a fairly quick journey to our child.  We were somewhat open; we knew not to expect a child with a perfect background, we were willing to consider various health issues, and we were open to race.  The only thing we were specific about was gender, and we even presented on a few gender unknowns.    However the Lord had different plans for us, more specifically me.  I tend to be a very organized person, a planner, and the Lord used this to teach me that things don’t always happen according to our time.  It took 10 months after our home study was done and after we had signed on with FAC to have our baby in our arms.  In that time our profile was shown to countless birth moms, and every time the answer was the same, it’s just not the right baby for you.  We also had 2 failed situations.  In one we had been chosen by the birth mom, talked to her several times, got a call that our birth mom was in labor, and was making plans to go to the hospital, when the baby was still born.  That was a difficult time, I felt the loss, and grieved for our birth mom.  The second was a situation where we were at the hospital with a baby, and had to choose to walk away.  (Absolutely the hardest thing I have EVER had to do!!!)  Joshua 1:9 says, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”  God didn’t say the road to adoption would be easy, he just commanded us to do it.

I now see why the Lord didn’t give us an easy road to adoption.  Along the way I was discouraged, but God used my experience to grow my passion for adoption and my desire to help orphans.  I tend to be more of an introvert, but this is one thing I can’t help but be vocal about, and am grateful to now have a place to put my energy and conviction for adoption to use!  I look forward to getting to know the FAC community better, and helping new families grow through adoption.

Jessica

I love that I have the luxury of living close by a few of my past clients, that I am now blessed to call friend.  This morning, I was blessed by one of those precious friends.  She brought over her little one and some pumpkin muffins, and we were able to talk about the highs and lows of adoption, and how adoption has greatly changed us from the inside out.

Talking to this friend, made me realize how much adoption has changed my life.  It has become Emory and I’s main passion, to be a light in the adoption world and to watch the Lord grow families through adoption. It is amazing, and it is impossible for it not to change you.  Adoption is life-changing…not only for the orphans that we are adopting, but for us.  I think it may be more life-changing for us than them, and I know 2 of my 4 were adopted when they were older, and I KNOW IT WAS LIFE-CHANGING.  But still, I believe it was more life changing for us than for them.  How are lives have been enriched by them, what they have taught us, what having a family of 8 has taught us is AMAZING!!

Thank you all for allowing us to walk alongside you in this journey!  Thank you for allowing me to call you FRIEND!!  Thank you for teaching me so much about God’s sovereignty through your adoption journeys!!  The Lord has taught me more these past 4 years about love, patience, compassion, understanding, humility, etc than ever before!  Thank you!  I am blessed to work with each of you, and consider it a true blessing!!

Courtney

I also know that for most of you reading this, you know with 100% certainty that the Lord has brought you to this adoption journey, He has commanded you to adopt and you are simply following His call.  However, He never promised following Him would be simple, or without heartache.  The adoption journey is definitely not without heartache.

The Lord reminded me today, through one of my clients, that He is always working.  He reminded me that He is laying the groundwork, He is preparing the BM for YOU, and preparing YOU for your BM and your baby.  I know the family that just met their baby boy, the “M” family, was about to give up.  They were tired, they were weary from the adoption journey.  They had been waiting for their 2nd child through adoption for 2 years, they signed on with FAC just under 2 months ago, but they were already so tired.  They had told me over the last 2-3 weeks, that they probably wouldn’t continue on this journey past December.  They were praying that the Lord would bring them their baby by then, because they were tired, and weren’t sure that they could keep on.  I prayed for this family, I prayed for their BM and for their baby!  I prayed the Lord would give them peace and rest, so that they would continue.  I prayed that their baby would come quickly, wherever he or she was, so that this precious family could be done.  Oh, how we have prayed for this family.  Little did I know that they were crying out to the Lord to give them a clear answer by the end of this weekend.  Come next week, they were done!  Come next week, they were going to call me and tell me that they couldn’t do it.  They had prayed, and begged the Lord to SHOW UP BIG if He wanted them to stay on the path of adoption.  Begged him to SHOW UP AND SHOW OFF!!!!

OUR GOD DID!  THEIR BABY WAS BORN IN THE WEE HOURS OF MORNING YESTERDAY, SATURDAY MORNING.  HE WAS 4 WEEKS EARLY, AND ONLY 4 LBS 10 OZ.  HE IS THEIR LITTLE MIRACLE.  I got the call about this precious baby, called them up and said, “Go get your baby”.  That is when she told me that they were about to give up, and that she has begged GOD to make it clear!  BOY, did he make it clear!  He is a MIGHTY GOD, HE IS WORTHY OF OUR PRAISE.  HE IS FAITHFUL, AND I AM CONSTANTLY IN A STATE OF AWE!

The rest of the story gets better, but I will save it for them to tell.  They promised to write their story so I can post it here, for you all to read.  We will post it so that HE may be glorified and those of you waiting can be encouraged!  He is faithful!

May each adoption through FAC bring our precious SAVIOR glory!!

“Now to Him Who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine…to Him be the glory.” Eph. 3:20

Incredible documentary, you will be blessed by it, I highly recommend you take 18.5 minutes and watch it NOW.

This is a POWERFUL video.

Bloodlines Documentary with John Piper

We have found just the person and family to bring to FAC!

A little about this precious family, and Jessica’s desire to work with adoptive families…

Shawn and Jessica were married in 1998. They always had a desire to adopt, and after having three biological children, Winston, Elaina, and Marshall, they decided the time was right. When they started researching, Shawn and Jessica felt very overwhelmed and misled, until God guided them to Faithful Adoption Consultants. Through talking with Courtney, Jessica became educated on adoption and became aware of the need for families to adopt minority children. In March 2011, they adopted Emmaline.

It is through this experience that Jessica’s passion for adoption evolved. Adopting a child was not enough to satisfy her devotion towards adoption. Instead, her commitment matured. Jessica desires to use her adoption experience to walk beside others through their emotional journey, bring awareness to the need for minority adoptions, and be a light for Christ as she guides families through the process.

We are thrilled to have Jessica join our team, and we know that our clients will all love her as much as we do.

This verse is one of my favorites. It is one that specifically calls for caring for the orphans. It commands us to care for them. I believe that this verse doesn’t just apply to those of us who know we are being called to ADOPT. It’s not just for those of us who have a heart for adoption. It is for all of us. This verse commands us as Christians to care for the orphans. We can do that in more than one way.

For those of you reading this that have not adopted before, or are not in the adoption process now, you probably have no idea how expensive adoption is. You probably did not realize that adoption costs between $20-50k or more. Adoptive families are not rich. I have NEVER had a couple with that much money in their back pockets. Each couple that has ever called me has been terrified of the financial part, they have had to completely trust that the Lord would provide. Adoption is a leap of faith!

I think that most people do not realize that adoption costs so much. I don’t think that most people realize that adoptive families DON’T have the money. I don’t think people realize that as Christians we are called to take care of the orphans. For those of you that do not feel like you are being called to adopt, you are being COMMANDED to care for the orphans. You can do that; you can care for the orphans by financially and prayerfully supporting another family that has been called to adopt. These precious families need your financial help.

A friend of mine has helped many families raise money for their adoptions, she came up with a great idea…she challenged 20 people to have a “Girls Night In”…she challenged each of these 20 women to have a party in their home, and invite 10 people each. Those 10 people would all bring $20 (the money they would have spent on dinner and a movie if they had gone out) and donate it to an adoptive family. These people didn’t know the adoptive family. They were answering the call of James 1:27. They were caring for the orphans. I think that is an incredible way to support adoptive families.

We, Faithful Adoption Consultants, have started a grant through Life Song for Orphans. The money that goes into the grant fund with Life Song will be for our FAC families. We will be able to assist them financially in their adoption journeys. We would love for you to help us build that grant fund. We would like you to donate financially; help adoptive families make their dreams of adoption come true. Allow the Lord to use you to care for the orphans. I promise you, there is no greater joy than knowing that you have helped bring a family together. What a blessing it is to financially support adoption. If you would like to make a financial contribution to our grant fund, please email me at Courtney@faithfuladoptionconsultants.com. You will be donating the money directly to Life Song for Orphans, which is a not for profit organization. I will also keep donors informed of the adoptive families that they are helping to support.

Will you support adoptive families? Will you make a donation to our new grant fund through Life Song? Will you pray about hosting a “Night In” with all donations supporting adoptive families? Will you help spread the word about our adoption grant, and the need for financial support?

That leads me to my FAVORITE verse!!

“Once our eyes are opened, we can’t pretend we don’t know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act.” Proverbs 24:12

I believe this verse can relate to many things. I definitely think it pertains to adoption. Our eyes have been opened, God knows that we know, and He holds us responsible to act. He is holding us responsible to adopt the orphans, maybe for you that isn’t an option right now, but you can financially support another family. Any amount takes them $1 closer to their child.

Will you act?

If our church families would rally around adoptive couples, the financial barriers could be removed! Will you rally around these precious families called to adoption?